Friday Follies ~~ Reasonable?

The Hard Physical Facts:

There exists a “triangle” of three interrelated factors in any product.  They are

Specification

Cost

Delivery Time

And as the old joke goes, “Pick two!”

Truth it is, and wisely said...

As Spec rises, Cost will rise and Delivery Time will increase.

As Cost is held lower, Spec will fall, and Delivery Time will increase.

If Delivery Time is to be made very short, then Spec will be compromised, and Cost will rise.

Some things are completely mutually exclusive.

Very High Spec, coupled with low Cost, will yield an infinite Delivery Time.

For that matter, sometimes elements of the Spec are not compatible.  It is possible to build a bicycle that is very versatile, but it will be compromised in some of its functions.  Think of it like this.  We can build a really good battleship, or a very capable aircraft carrier, or a terrific submarine, but there just isn’t any such thing as a Flying-Battleship-Aircraft-Carrier-Submarine.

If a very fast light road bike is desired, it can be had, but it won't handle log crossings, ditch jumps, or whoops, and it will sink out of sight in the first mud bog.  On the other hand, an absolutely amazing mountain bike is quite possible, but it won’t put the rider at in the lead group on the Thursday Night Roadie Ride.

The Customer side of the equation: 

Most folks have an understanding of the elements discussed above.  The majority of folks who enter the bike shop are sane and reasonable.  Of course they would like to get the best possible stuff, as soon as possible, at the best possible price, but they have an understanding of things as they are.  Most want their bike fixed for a reasonable price, or they want a decent road bike at around fifteen hundred, or they need a flat repaired, or a new good pair of shorts, or decent tires, etc.  Most understand that we work very hard to provide the best value for the price.  There are, however, some exceptions.

There are four particular and unique types of customers who come to the bike shop.  They are, it should be stated, a tiny minority of our clientele.  But they do stand out.  They are the Center of the Universe, the Man With An Idea, the Madman, and the Agonized Shopper.  Perhaps you have met one or more of these?

The Center of the Universe:  This individual wants what they want, and thinks that constitutes a Natural Law.  It doesn’t really matter how unreasonable or unrealistic the desire is, they want it!  More, it is the job and obligation of the Universe, (specifically the employees of the shop) to produce this thing for them.   And make it snappy!  It’s kind of a waste of time to explain to this individual that no one has a carbon fiber road bike, weighing less than 15 pounds, with “simple” gears, in orange and purple polka dot pain scheme, used but in perfect condition, in a double extra small size, for $150.00.  All that explanation will produce is a blank look followed by anger.  “Why not?  I want it!”  The clear implication is that we shop employees are crooks and we’re deliberately keeping them from realizing their fondest (unreasonable) desire.

The Man With An Idea:  This one is a close relative of Center of the Universe.  This guy starts with the proposition that, since the shop does repairs, and on occasion accepts custom work orders, it stands to reason that we would be only too willing to drop everything and develop his stroke of genius.  He has this Idea!  We should just build him a bike that lets him lie face down, and has lots and lots of gears, with a mount for a gas engine, that could go 150 miles per hour and cost only a couple of hundred dollars.  Or he sees no reason why we shouldn’t modify his extra-small framed, third hand mountainbike to fit his six foot seventeen inch body, and make it entirely suitable for triathlons and mountainbike racing.  Or why can’t we just build him shaft driven, all-wheel-drive tricyle, with a cloaking device?  Out of junkyard parts?

The Madman:  Insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result.  The Madman has in mind something with a preposterous spec, at a completely unreasonable price, and is just amazed and astonished at (and holds us somehow responsible for) the fact that the bicycle industry has not spent many years and millions of dollars developing just exactly what HE wants.  The Madman  is firmly convinced that diamonds can be found in Cracker Jacks boxes.  Usually what the Madman desires is a product that defies the first basic facts listed at the beginning of this post.  He is convinced that he can have a high spec, low cost, wonder and have it now.  After exhaustively discussing this with us, he goes away dissatisfied, but he will be back to do it all again!  And again.  And again!

The Agonized Shopper:  This individual is quite aware of those the Spec, Cost, Time triangle, but he is obsessed with fidning the absolute best possible solution to the problem.  He spends hours discussing absolutely every aspect of every finely detailed spec and part on an wide array of bikes, asks for comparisons with other company's offerings, and price matching, and written quotes, and then goes away.   He will return to go through the entire process again, many times, over the space of 1.5 to 2 years, before finally buying something (usually from the internet!)  Then he is shocked and amazed that we are not overjoyed with his purchase, and that we don’t want to fit him on it for free, and sell him accessories at wholesale, and perform warranty service on his shiny new toy.

In closing, I’d like to thank all of you, my most reasonable and delightful customers.  You are emphatically not in any of the above categories, and you often don’t know just how refreshing you are.