Friday Follies ~~ Speeding

I have been cited for speeding twice, while riding a bicycle.

The second time this happened was absolutely true.  I’d been coming down a long gentle grade.  I was in the big ring, and cooking.  I went through the school zone in excess of 35 mph.  The policeman was very polite, and somewhat impressed.  He was also dead right.  The zone was clearly posted.  Dismissal was in progress.  The speed limit was 25 mph.  I knew all of this.  I just had a complete brain fade. The policeman was kind.  He let me off with a warning.

The first time I was issued a speeding ticket while cycling was a bit more complex.

The scene was a small southern mountain town.  It was the early seventies.  The town had a court square at the center.  Traffic around the square was one way.  It was canted on a light hill.

At that time in history, the local hot rod set would come into town and parade around the square in their jacked up Chevy beasts.  Think of a Spanish promanade, only with muscle cars.

I was in the early stages of my racing “career.”  I had given up my car in order to buy a really nice racing bike.  I used my “other bike” as a car.  My hair was long.  My normal summer cycling garb was a pair of cut-off (short) jeans, a sleeveless shirt, bandana worn as a headband, funny shoes, gloves.

The Elbow Room Tavern was just off the square.  My friends and I would gather there to imbibe a cheap beer or two of a warm evening.  We could take pitchers outside and hang in front of the place.

On the evening in question, I had just arrived on my bike.  Several of my friends were standing there in front of the bar.  We were watching the motor parade and making disparaging remarks.

At this remove in time, I don’t remember exactly what was said, or what provoked the event.  But this is certain.  I took it into my head to mount the bike and merge into the traffic.  I quickly found that I was able to pass the big jacked up cars.  In fact, I could do it fairly easily.  They had all kinds of power, and made a lot of noise, terrific acceleration but…

No amount of horsepower will help if one can not make turns.  Add in a bit of traffic congestion, and the bike is suddenly king of the situation.

Words were exchanged.  I took the inside line and went faster.  The guys in the crewcuts and clean white tee shirts were getting testy.  The noise level increased.  I could not be caught.  I was able to accelerate through the short straights, and keep my speed into the turns.  The power car set could not do this.  I kept gaining and passing.  I lapped the field.  Speed increased.  Horns blew.  Engines roared.

One of the city’s finest saw the scene and recognized that the situation was getting out of hand.  He also (correctly) determined that I was the root cause of the disturbance.  He entered the scene in his cruiser, lights and siren on.

I was pulled over, and then there was a moment.  The cop knew he had me, and knew that I was a problem, but he didn’t know what to do about it.  So he wrote me out a speeding ticket.

That was interesting.  He cited me for “operating in excess of the posted speed limit.” But he didn’t specify a speed.

I went to court on that one.  I had the savvy to cut my hair and put on my most sincere suit.

It came down to this, the officer could not state exactly how fast I was going, and therefore could not testify that he knew I was speeding.  The judge refused to believe that I could have been speeding on a bicycle.  He admonished the cop for wasting time and harassing a citizen.  In other words, I got away with it.  Cold.

I’ll never do it again.  I will continue to outrun cars in traffic, but provoking them is just plain stupid.  Still, it was fun.