Friday Follies ~~ Things heard in the Bike Shop

“How fast does this bike go?”

“I don’t want anything fancy or complicated…  just a touring bike.”

“I have a hole in my wheel.  The air won’t stay in.  I put fix-a-flat in it, but it don’t hold.  Do you all fix wheels like that.”

“My tire is bent.  How much for a new rim?”

(Over the phone)  “I got this bicycle see?  And my sister’s cousin give it to me.  It’s been a couple of years.  She used to live next door a little ways down from me.  And anyway, to make a long story short, he had this bicycle, and it’s a good bike, and she rode it with him, until they got divorced, and he took it to her place and left it there.  So…  How much would it cost to fix it?  It’s a real good bike.”

“It’s good to see you!”

(On a sunny Spring Friday at 1:00 PM)  “I need to get my bike rebuilt and restored.  I know it’s a busy time for you, but if I bring it in this afternoon can you get it done today?”

(3 minutes before closing time on a Saturday)  “I have a question.  If I get a bicycle, and I ride it, what kind do I need, ‘cause I need to lose some weight, and I’m thinking of doing a triathlon, and I want to do some mountainbiking, but I haven’triddeninafewyearsandIusedtobestatechampionbmxrideryahblabbablabba…”

“Is there a law in this state that I have to wear a helmet?”

(While picking a bike up and shaking it below a very prominent beer gut)  “How much does this bike weigh?”

“I’ve been off the bike for three years.  Can you get this ready by tomorrow?  ‘Cause if you can’t, I’m going somewhere else!”

(By a 55 year old male with an obvious 75 pounds of excess body mass)  “I don’t race or anything.”

“I got this good bike from WalMart…”

(Individual comes in dressed in riding clothing and with bike.  Individual needs a fast repair on the bike.  While the tech is working on that bike…)  “It’s a really good day!  Why aren’t you out riding?”

“My kid just loves that bike you helped me get.  She rides it all the time, and it’s all she wants to do.  Thank you sooo much!”

“It took me a while to get going, but I love the bike you sold me.  I love riding it.  It’s great, and it’s made a real difference in my whole life!”