Yesterday, I was scrambling to get
ready for the evening ride. It had
been a long, full, and complicated day.
I’d thrown the garage door open to grab the bike. I had one of the cyclocomputers in my
hand. As I reached to bring the
bike down from the hook, I fumbled, the computer left my hand and… BLOP
…right into the oil catch pan. The
full oil catch pan. (I’d changed the oil on my truck
earlier, and had not then disposed of the used oil.)
I have a complicated history with portable
electronics. I’ve dropped cell
phones (unintentionally!) into the toilet. I’ve drowned them other ways too. I’ve run over PDAs with my truck. Back in the Walkman era, I trashed several. I thought my first flip-phone was really
cool, until the bike crash.
Way back in history we didn’t have
fancy electronics to train with.
Our concept was different (and largely wrong) then. Basically we got on the bike and rode
as fast as we could for a long time.
We knew approximately the length of various training rides because
someone had measured them with a car’s odometer. In those days bicycle speedometers where huge and clunky,
and only seen on the bikes of kids and the occasional eccentric adult.
One day, shortly after the
“pocket” calculator became affordable, electronic gadgets for bikes started
showing up on the market. (This
was just about the time that DOS 3.0 rolled out.) They were called “cyclocomputers.” I resisted them for a time.
I bought my first bike
computer. It was an amazing
gadget. It was both a heart rate
monitor and a bike computer. The heart rate function told me how
fast my heart was beating! The
thing also told me how far I ridden the bike, and how long I’d been doing it. It had a stopwatch in it too. It had one other interesting
feature. I could be switched
between two wheel sizes, so if a second mount was purchased it could be used on
two different bikes. I bought the
second mount and used the thing on both my road bike and mountain bike.
That early cyclocomputer had an
unadvertised feature. It was an
incredibly sensitive detector of power lines and of the early high frequency
wireless security systems. When I got
close to either of these things, my heart rate would go to zero. Incidentally, that feature took a while
to figure out.
I thought the thing was amazing! I used it a lot.
It changed the way I rode and trained. Then, on a trip to Tsali, I had it on my bike. I hit a “wheel eater” while
transitioning one of the stream crossings. I watched the magic device pop out of its mount and then
land in the water. Before I could
begin to recover, the little gadget floated right down the stream and rapidly
down the waterfall.
For a long time, bicycle computers
were somewhat problematical. They
worked okay, until they were subjected to rain. Then they died.
For a time, I rode with my computer wrapped in baggies, or condoms. It often helped preserve them.
Eventually, the manufacturers
improved the seals on the gadgets.
I became a fan of Sigma brand equipment. It didn’t die when exposed to a mild rain shower. I became a real believer when I left my
computer in a pocket and ran it through the wash. That was a pair of work pants. I wash my own clothes.
For work clothing, I use the heavy duty cycle on the washer, and the
“don’t screw with me, get it dry
dammit” cycle on the dryer. The
computer lived through all that.
Amazing! I’ve been a
convicted user of Sigma brand equipment ever since.
Yesterday, as I watched the
computer disappear into the dark and nasty oil, I didn’t despair. There wasn’t time for that. Instead
a acted quickly. I snatched a
nitrile glove out of the dispenser on the wall. (Doesn’t everybody
have a disposable glove dispenser in their home shoe?) I slipped the glove on and reached down
into the pan, found the device by feel and retrieved it. Then a grabbed a handful of paper
towels from the shop dispenser, and wrapped them around the hand with the
glove. That contained the mess so
that I could dash inside.
A fast trip to the kitchen sink,
and large dollop of dish detergent, and then under the stream of warm
water. Scrub with brush. Presto! The computer was no longer coated in used crankcase
oil. And it still worked!
It’s nice to know that we are
making some progress.
Of course, I’m still carrying my
phone around in a zip-lock baggie.
Phones don’t like to get wet.
Will their makers ever catch up with Sigma?
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