Friday Follies ~~ Bike Shorts

When I started riding a bicycle I just got on the thing and rode it.  No special preparations required.  In the Summer, I walked up to the bike in whatever I was wearing (usually cut-off jeans, T-shirt, and sneakers) and rode.  There weren’t bottle cages on the bike.  I didn’t worry about nutrition, or hydration, and I don’t think helmets had been invented yet.  Most of those rides, on the big Schwinn Cruiser, were short and local, but I did range about and abroad.  Sometimes I even packed a lunch.

Road bikes happened to me. 

At first I treated the idea pretty much as I had the old cruiser.  I rode where I wanted to, wearing what I wore.  I did make one clothing concession to riding a bike.  I learned (the hard way of course) to tie my shoelaces up short and tight, and to either roll my right pants leg up, or use a clip to keep it gathered and out of the chain.

I must have been a laughable sight the first time I showed up for a formally organized race.  My low-end ten-speed was decked out with fenders, a generator, and a rack.  It was a somewhat chilly morning, so I was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt.  I was the only rider in that race who looked like that.  The others were all wearing these funny, black, tight shorts, and these bright colorful, tight fitting jerseys.

I learned a lot in that race.  I managed to keep the back of the pack almost in sight, for the first lap.  I did other races and got better.

I had people laugh at me because of the stuff I was wearing.  I thought they looked funny.

In something like the fourth or fifth race I entered, I placed tenth.  By then I was riding a lot farther, on a regular basis.  I experienced some odd things.  Chafing.  Saddle sores.  Other discomforts.

Some of the people I met through racing told me I would perform better, and be more comfortable in proper cycling clothing.  I gave it some thought.

In those days, back at the dawn of history, the DuPont Company had not yet invented Lycra or Spandex.  Shorts and jerseys were made of wool.  The pad of the short was called a chamois, because that is what it was made from.  There was no real padding to speak of.

I bought a pair of shorts.  Yipes.  Itchy britches.  Oddly, I was more chafed and galled than I had been in cutoff jeans.  I had not learned that one did not wear underwear under riding shorts.  It took me a while to learn to lubricate the chamois before riding.  I learned.

By the end of that season I looked like a real racer.  I wore wool shorts and jersey.  When it rained, I smelled like a wet sheep.  It itched.  Everyone, all the serious riders put up with this.  I’d even managed to get comfortable (somewhat that is) wearing those shorts without underwear.

The stuff still itched, and it had an odd odor to it when wet, but it was far superior to street clothing for the long riding I was doing.

It’s better today.